Thomas' surgery

I have to admit I forgot about the blogging world for awhile. I just can't get to it. For some reason I think since Sydney is walking and the weather is warm, there is no time to just sit and type. I miss it because when I reflect my life is so much richer. I will admit though I am trying to live more moment by moment so maybe that means I am in the moment more and not reflecting as much... who knows!

Here are some pictures of Thomas who had a double hernia. He had to have been the happiest patient on the block. He got to eat 5 popsicles and have 3 cups of juice and that is heaven for him. Sweets are his love language. He was just precious. It was really difficult for me to let him go. He is one of those children who just never complains and to see him just go and not know what was happening really was difficult.

We went to his follow up appointment today which it has now been a month and he was quiet the entire hour in the car on the way there. A little boy walked up to him and offered him a goldfish (his favorite) and he put his head behind me and his little lip was quivering. I saw crocodile tears in his eyes and I just want to scoop him up and cry with him. The little boy was so talkative and friendly and I thought he was just getting shy until I noticed the tears. I took him to the bathroom and he burst out crying. He said he didn't know what was wrong. I asked him if he was scared and he said no. I kept asking and then said, how about you tell me when we get in the car and you think about why you are crying. So we went into the doctor's office and he just put his head on my chest and hugged me. He then would look into my eyes, play with my hair and just kiss on me. It truly was one of those moments in life you wish you could just freeze. I could tell he was just scared. I think he thought he was going to have to have surgery again and since he is so quiet, I didn't know. Finally the doctor came in and said all he had to do was look at his scars. He said "I'm done." Little T came back to life. He got out of my lap, started smiling, and boy he didn't stop talking for the hour ride home. I can't put into words though what it is to see your child afraid and need you so much.