We are having another child...

It is often difficult to put into words all the tiny whispers of the Lord in your life; of course it isn't necessary to, but people often ask how did you decide to adopt? I never know whether to go into the one minute version or the thirty minute novel in my head. What I am learning right now is that God can call you to anything or he can bring you to anything... whether it be adoption, cancer, death, the lottery, or just the mundane... the call and the circumstance should be irrelevant, but as humans in our eyes it is so different... would if we just saw all of it as an opportunity to walk with Him closer instead of the immediate emotion we feel. I am thankful we feel the ups and downs of each experience or I think life would be quite boring. So often we think we are in control of some things in life, yet we see continuously that we are in control of nothing. The only conclusion I can come up with is that God is with us no matter what we are going through, happy or sad.

Andy and I have decided to heed the voice we have heard for the past six months and we are adopting another child from Ethiopia. This journey has been so different. It is humbling to see how much of myself I saw in it last time, and how this time, it is simply a calling that God presses on your heart. This time like last, I pray for faith each day as we step into the next part of our life's journey. With every big decision, there are days of fear of how will we do this? how will we afford this? how will we have the energy? how will our children get the attention they need? and more? Yet... that still small voice whispers, "I am enough". We have a peace about it, which feels so good when you encounter the challenges and when you think of all the rational reasons why not. It is also humbling to really picture another little tiny human that God has designed for our family out there. I can't quite get my mind around that yet, thankfully in some ways, but to know that we will know another little person as deeply as we know our four makes my heart leap.

Words that I read the other day have just clung to me like a robe. I have thought about in a decision like this you go from point A to point B and like the quote, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. We, as humans, like to go the curvy route and meander down all the roads of fear, doubt, and "do it myself" roads. My hearts desire this time is to go straight... to utter the words to Jesus daily, "I trust you" instead of "what if this" or "what if that". The best place to be is in the center of God's will obeying what he desires. I am constantly struck as an adult of how much God is with me in everyday moments. I certainly don't access Him all the time, but He brings me to the next places... and yes all the bad ones too.

A favorite quote from my quiet time, "You will get to point B eventually, but you will have lost precious time and energy. The farther you roam along paths of unbelief, the harder it is to remember that I am with you. Anxious thoughts branch off in all directions, taking your farther and farther from awareness of My Presence. " No time to lose precious time and energy in this life...

Trust in me with all your heart, and I will make your paths straight...

Andrew and Sydney's first day of preschool

Miss Sydney was more than excited to go to school and carry her backpack and lunch box. She was so sad when she met the teacher the week before, but thankfully I clued in and talked her up all weekend. She told me before we left, "I gonna be a big girl, I not gonna cry." Yiphee.... she sprinted in her room and never looked back. When I picked her up, she was on her tummy with legs crossed, and chin in her hands listening to a book. She saw me and ran to me.... melted my heart for sure.

Andrew was pretty quiet, yet had that look of just joy. I think he has watched his brothers go to school for three weeks and thought, am I stuck with mom all day? He ran in as well and made two friends immediately. He said when we got out of the car, "There aren't very many brown people here." Then he saw an Indian boy and said, "Oh there is one." So amazing what they see. He asked me one other time two weeks ago, "Are there going to be a lot of brown people here?" I said, "yes there are" as we were going to meet families who had all adopted. I said "Do you want there to be?" He said, "I don't care; I hope they are rainbow colored, brown, or white."