Tired out

Pictures go beyond all words so I will leave it at that.

The other picture is how tired we all are. Thomas was told by Dad not to get out of bed again so he hid on the steps and when we came up for bed, he was asleep on the steps at 10 pm.

As you can see from the boots, he is just like our other boys, obsessed! How do you like the Ethiopian and American mix? I think it suits him well; just think about that powerful combination and how God will use both sides to mold him into the person He designed him to be.

Finally a picture of all 4!

My children's understanding of race continues to be humorous. We have loved seeing that they hardly notice, but then something will happen and we see that they do. The other night we were all eating dinner and everyone's shirt was dirty except Andrew's. I said, " Why is it that Andrew is the only one who doesn't get dirty when he eats?"

Thomas says immediately, "That is because he is darker."

Priceless.

Bobby in the mean time has come home from his church camp and tells Andy and I, "I have decided what I am going to do with my life when I grow up." What is that Bobby?
"I am going to tell people about Jesus." Really. That is neat; that is what Mommy and Daddy do too. "No you don't." What will you tell them? "I will tell them about the cross and tell them that he went to the "temple" for three days and then Mary came and looked for him and he wasn't there. Jesus then found Peter and Mary and said 'I am here'.

Makes me happy...

These pictures just make me happy. Father's Day was a blast. I watched all the boys go off the diving board with Dad while I got to have some girl time just sitting and thinking at the pool. Daddy was in heaven and so was Mommy, can't beat that. After we got our break on Friday night, we were refreshed and ready to go at it again.

Slideshow...

Here are some pictures from a lunch we had with four other families from church who have also adopted. These families are incredible; each of their stories is such an inspiration. You can see that Bobby especially loved the picture taking.

Sunday with church friends

Kristin's words...

My friend Kristin who is just amazing, loving, fun, and such a woman of God wrote this to her husband for their anniversary (you can check out her blog to read more of it), but it hit home that this is the same story different characters for our family as we grow from this experience. She writes...



Just barely college graduates so young and full of life
We were eager to dive full speed into our life as man and wife

Little did we know what the road up ahead would hold
but our hearts trusted in the God who held our souls

The past five years have been tough at times
and altogether different than what we thought it would be

We discovered we are both not perfect
And in fact, that our hearts were full of sin

Suddenly we seemed so different
and our reason for living and loving just drifted away

How could God still be loving and totally in control
when there seemed to be no help and no hope at all

Darkness hung like a shadow over our weary souls
Desperate for change but with no where to go

No good could we see in the story that He was weaving
our focus on the the anger and on the weeping

Slowly He began to lift the dark veil from off of our face
with the brightness of his love and magnificence of his grace

Jesus loved us in spite of our ugliness
and choose to mold us and make us into his own

We are still not perfect
and conflicts definately remain

But we have learned to walk together
As we delight ourselves in His word and His truth



How in the world she had this time to reflect and write is something I just sit in awe from. You can see how the Lord provides because even though I don't have that time, God leads me to this reading on her blog... Is He not in every detail? Andy and I have said many times since the trip, isn't it incredible how God cares about our hearts every day, not just in "big" things.

Tears for the first time...

So some of you would think I am truly bizarre because I do, but yesterday let's just say, the word "overwhelmed" hit like a ton of bricks. It was the first day since we have been home that I cried finally. I have wanted to cry, but just couldn't. I think it was a mixture of God's grace, adrenaline, and being a little numb. I guess it is a way of protecting yourself from really crying over what your children have been through before they got to you. I had many tears before we got them, but since I have had them I just have been in survival mode so truly I think I would have to pencil it in on my calendar to cry.

It felt good and my dear husband didn't try to fix me. He just listened and held me outside in the 95 degree heat while the children were all eating lunch. We told them not to come outside and it was a glorious 10 minutes. I got it all out and we just moved on. Sometimes we just have to mourn things, things that are painful and hard. For some 4 kids is a breeze, they were created to just love on children and serve them. For me, I am selfish, I have interests too; I love people and love to do things so it is harder.

I am someone who likes to "do" as Martha is in the Bible; I am also like Martha in the Bible because she is so quick to have faith. God is always stripping me of being busy and it is incredibly painful to be molded by Him at times knowing that I am learning to just "be" and have so far to go. I have been learning this for so long it feels, yet it seems this will be a lifelong lesson. I can see how in the next year, the painful death of the old Martha who was organized, got things done, returned phone calls, said yes to social engagments, is having to die in order to embrace new things such as long meaningful bedtimes, long stories with crazy endings to keep your kids focused, and time playing cards at home with your husband while trying to keep your eyes open. The death of the old me still hasn't gone yet, but there will be many more tears as I learn to surrender to what God has in store for me next. This truth hit me when 3 days this week I was still in my pajamas at noon. It wasn't that I wanted a shower, it was that I just wanted to get upstairs to get my clothes. I couldn't. There was always a crisis.

Good news is that we did hear back about Andrew's CT scan and it was just as she thought. The plates in his skull have been squished and pushed around which doesn't affect anything physically at this point. We will still go see the neurologist and see if there is anything they will recommend we do. We are so grateful to know that everything in that little head of his is fine.

The boys are gone this morning at my sister's house and it is so quiet here. Andrew peeps up and tries to act like he is talking which is quite comical and Sydney just sits and coos. Andy and I are loving a little quiet. The time I miss the most is just time to focus, to allow your thoughts to finish, to be able to finish sentences, like right now. I treasure these fine moments.

Bobby's 5th Birthday

We had Bobby's 5th birthday this weekend and as you can see from the picture of him, he was quite happy. He just loves having his buddies over so in the 95 degree weather we kept our focus on the fact that he was having fun as we were sweating away. Andrew enjoyed the apple bobbing the most and just loved holding them all. He sat down on a balloon as a chair and it popped, which cracked him up. You can also see from the pics that he absolutely loved the cake! He didn't even begin to use a fork. My neice is holding Sydney in the hammock which was a dream since I think she could be a mother already since she loves babies so much.

I added a song today where you can scroll to the bottom and press the play button that I tend to focus on as a mother (I am only explaining how to play the music since the older generation like my mom :) says she can't figure out how to watch the videos and turn off the music; I thought I would aid them and turn it off when it loads for now :).


Here are the words:

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you


I think of this song so much when we have our rough moments thinking how will we get through some of these tantrums. I think about the future and all that each of my children will face and think about my job on earth. God has given me these four and I can't make them into the people I want, I can only point them to Jesus. I can't fix their pain, their problems, their struggles; I can just simply lead them to the One who can. It is so relieving to me to focus on these words at times as a mother, knowing it is all in His hands and in His control.

Yesterday we had Andrew's CT scan where he has a place on his head that sticks out. The doctor says it is probably nothing, but we did go get it checked. Let me tell you how fun that was seeing your little one wrapped in a burrito where he can't move an inch with his head in a strap and body strapped in. His look of fear and his screaming made my stomach hurt, yet somehow we got through it. He was still for the 6seconds they needed him to be. I told him over and over again "I love you, I love you, I love you..." He shook his head "no" at me, like "yeah right"... Luckily after it was done and he stopped crying, I said, "I love you" and he said, " I love you." It was nice to get through something hard like that where he doubted my trust and could see that in the end he still could trust.

Lastly for today, I don't think I wrote about this because at the time I couldn't disclose all the details of my referral legally, but during the adoption process I only had one vivid dream and I decided to write it down in my journal just in case I could look back and see if that was a day that was important in Sydney's life. Well if you count back from Sydney's birthday 40 weeks, that is when I had the dream. The dream was that I had a hysterectomy that night. It was so vivid. I remember waking up thinking, I wonder if this means this is when my baby was born or being conceived. I think it is pretty wild to think that God can conceive a baby physically half way around the world and then at the same time conceive a baby in your heart across the ocean simultaneously possibly...

Down the bay/Jesus loves me rendition with friends...

Here is a little clip... notice how quiet it is... hee hee

Wherever he ends up...

The first picture is of Andrew the other night when we went to bed. He is used to a crib so you can see in his bed that he ends up wherever. Thankfully we came in to check on him. Pretty cute.

The next ones were this morning after breakfast. I realized poor Sydney needs some more pictures. She just seems to be sleeping every time I have the camera out. I just put them all in bed and Andy is out with some friends at a pool hall! Imagine getting a break? Poor thing has taken him 5 days to get the lawn mowed after work because someone is always in need. We went to a friend's for dinner with my four and her four so he could get some time to himself. I know he was relieved to just sit in his own house and relax.

I had a friend say to me recently when talking of August when Andy goes back to work and I was questioning, how will I survive?... Her response was so good and one that just stuck with me. "You are living in fear"... don't do that. God will take care of you then. I have thought of this so much and thought of how it is so true. Why do we rely on the "things" of this world such as Andy being home from work versus just God's strength. He will provide for us then as He does now in ways we just can't see now. I was so encouraged to hear these words.

1 peter 5:6-11

"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. Disciopline yourselves, keep alert. Like a roaring lion your adversary the devil prowls around looking for someone to devour. Resist him, steadfast in your faith, for you know that your brothers and sisters in all the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the power forever and ever."

One of the many gifts...

These goggles are evidence of one of the many gifts that have been given to us... 3 pairs! You can see the line up of bedtime as well. Amidst all the chaos, there are so many precious moments. Andrew now likes to tell everyone "Iloveyou" all as one word. He pats the car and waves bye bye and says "Iloveyou". He told the pediatrician the other day the same. He has learned over 20 words since he has been home and his tantrums are getting better. There are good days and really hard ones. The verse that keeps popping up in church and in my daily quiet times are

"When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."
Isaiah 43: 2-3

Our prayers are focused on the hour not the day and not the week. :)