Funny one liners

I told Bobby I was taking Thomas and Andrew to the zoo last week, and he burst into tears saying he wanted to go and didn't want to go to school. Thomas says, "Bobby, it is just hard in life."


Bobby says as I put him to bed two nights ago, "You know what I look most forward to in heaven?" I said, what (usually it is ice cream or something random he thinks)... He says, "Jesus." "And Baba", his great grandmother who passed away.

Andrew says often, "Darnit"... wonder where he learned that one.

Sydney says, "Ow" and something that sounds identical to "Help".

Easter

Here are some pictures of everyone dressed for Easter; it was pretty fun to have everyone looking together, hair brushed, clean clothes on, and just ready. I am thinking that is how Jesus wants us to be each day (not dressed up and perfect), but just ready for Him to come back. I am so thankful he will take me in sweats; it is far easier. On my tired days I just dream of being warm all the time since I love it when the sun just hits me and in someone's arms... I imagine that is what heaven will be. The feeling of being held all the time and warm and cozy.

You can see in one of these pictures Andy eating alone. He said it was most relaxed moment. We had all finished and he was waiting for dessert and everyone had left. I came back and said I was sorry we all left. He said, he did not mind one bit.

Parenting as most know takes a lot of planning and thinking ahead in order to save chaos and meltdowns. For me, my mind has trouble focusing now. Some examples of this are on Easter morning, I went through the buffet line 4 times to get everyone's plates I was responsible for. I then went to start with soup for myself with my sister and as I was talking to her I realized I only grabbed the soup saucer, not the bowl. I poured the soup in the saucer which of course poured out all over the sides and onto the buffet table. Her reaction was wonderful, "What are you doing?" I just looked at her and said, "I don't know." We both just laughed.

Then I had a bridesmaid luncheon last week and that same day had bible study and a post adoption report visit. I then took the kids to the babysitter and I was driving to Atlanta and realized 5 minutes into the trip, I didn't change my clothes. I was still in my corduroys and had forgotten to put the skirt on.


Lastly, yesterday I found an earring on the floor that had fallen out and I put it back in. Three hours later I saw myself in the mirror and I put them both in the same ear. I didn't even feel it.

My world feels disconnected in these moments where I ask myself, am I here physically? There was the most beautiful song on yesterday as I jotted down the words to these feelings. It went something like this, " Whatever you are doing inside of me, feels like chaos, but this is something bigger than me. Surrendering to what you can't see and giving into to something heavenly." How wonderful is that. I love and hate that God is making my world so out of control, but it is just where He wants me. I have never seen my need for a Savior like I do now. You don't realize how in control you think you are until you lose control. It is glorious to let go and let more and more of it go to God.

He is Risen!

Talk about being spoiled

My dad and stepmom had the insight to think through five days with 9 grandchildren around... rent an inflatable! Genius... they jumped for 3 days straight and fell into bed each night. It was quite a hit. I acutally got to sit and just be. I had to rethink adult conversation because I am so used to being interupted. I have always thought I need to get a book on "smalltalk". If you know me I am terrible at it; I am fine at going way too deep, but truly I go quiet and numb when I get a break from my children and forget how just to talk about anything. I can't even begin to have a deep conversation. So I now need that little book that gives me great one liners to start just random fun conversation when I have the 3-5 minutes of time.

We were spoiled rotten when we went home. I usually go into panic mode before vacations because I get so run down from the packing, but this time instead of coming home wiped out, I came home rested, laundry done, a meal sent home with me frozen, wine, and a somewhat rested spirit. Who isn't rested when they leave a beautiful small town where you can park, pick up flowers, leave kids in the car, and two minutes later be home versus sit in traffic for an hour, stop at Home Depot to get wilted ugly flowers, where you have to haul 4 kids out, and then spend 15 minutes driving home. They don't have the billboards, the ads, the pace we have; I hope they don't get it; I love driving on the highway and all you see is trees, not a billboard that says, "sell your house" and then your mind starts thinking about selling your house.

Off to grandparents we go

We drove to Virginia for Easter to visit my family and just when I thought I couldn't pack another thing, I got many ideas. I decided I was going to beat the steep learning curve of mothering. I decided to pack a cooler of 4 different snacks all in ziplocs and waters all ready so every time they asked me for something I just passed it back. It was quite a trip I will have to say... Andy and I were having fun, almost sticking out our tongues at the fact that we beat the system that has beating us for a year...

Bobby asked before we left if blueberries were always in season in Virginia since he hasn't seen them in our house since the summer... humm... I said, "yes, they seem to be able to find them there." All he wanted was blueberries and bacon... and that is what he got!

A new week

Every night when I get in bed, I am exhausted as I am sure so many of us are, but when I wake up each morning, I am always blown away by the fact that my mind is renewed, my body is renewed, I can do another day, and all is restored. I am not saying I just wake up ready to go, but I don't feel at all like I did the night before. I can remember my Dad telling me numerous times during childhood, "you just need to sleep on it and tomorrow it will feel so much better." At the time I didn't like that much, but if I were honest, it was true. What feels so tiring, heavy, and stressful at night, seems completely different in the morning. "His mercies are new every morning." This is the verse I have clung to this week as I try to fix my eyes on the author and perfecter of my faith and not myself this week. When I fix my eyes on myself, it is not good. I keep looking up...

I am doing a Beth Moore Bible study right now and the quote is in my mind for good, "The only way up in God's economy is to get down."... you can just imagine me with my face to carpet praying and crying out to God. Man it feels good. All the other stuff just doesn't cut it... :)

Can we say at the end of my rope?

This week pretty much killed me. Four kids truly almost made me pull my hair out. Sydney has been on and off sick for awhile so she is just a mess when she doesn't feel up to par, but that is just a side note. I am just soooooooooooooo tired. I have nothing to say this week except that I know it is God who keeps my family existing because He steps in at the very last moment each time when I know in my heart I cannot take one more step of life. This happened for me today with two dear friends and they just let me cry it all out. Praise the Lord for Him delivering me just when you feel like the swell of the water is going to take over. What burden that was lifted. You know you are at the end of your rope when you haven't looked and daydreamed at your kids in quite a long time... finally had those moments today as I just stared at their round little faces and froze a few of those moments in my head.