Tonight I feel so much peace. There is something about preparing. Preparing for school. For fall. For a turn of seasons, events, people, growth. My friend Amy wrote the most endearing email this week on there is a time for everything, using those wonderful, well known verses and adding a few of her classic Amy like own about fireflys and "smart" boards... With those versese sometimes comes a little loss of breath for me because when you are on the flip side of the verse, like time to laugh... you think. uh oh, there will be a time to cry. Isn't it difficult to just take in moments. They are so fleeting yet so real. I have been bathing, lotioning, reading, and cuddling with the kids so much this week which is typically rare since life gets busy and the little things are just left for when there is time. Those little things though who knew to a mother bring such joy and satisfaction.
Who knew that smelling your child's hair while you read them a book and it smelling so fresh could cause the feeling of getting an A as a parent. There are too many nights to count that they just smell like sweaty boys and the shower comes another day, hate to confess. It got me thinking that if we take so much pleasure in these precious moments, why don't we do more of them? I believe the lie so often that getting that entire to do list will happen. There are times when it actually does, maybe 10 out of 100, but then there is more. I still believe there won't be more though. How silly? Yet how good. Wouldn't we then eventually be bored and find disatisfaction in bathing children?
Deep thoughts in August. I am preparing my first to go to Kindegarten next week and it feels surreal. I overhwelmed with joy for him because he is ready, but the era of my little biddies is beginning to shift. With that comes mourning and rejoicing. I can honestly say, mostly rejoicing thankfully, but I like to process both sides because it makes me feel alive. I used to hate crying because I cried a lot in college. Now I don't cry so much so I really like it. It is painful yet it makes you feel so alive. It makes you dig that compassion out of your heart and risk something. Maybe I will cry , maybe not, but who cares really... I just want to enjoy the moment and not let it pass without being there.
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Oh Martha, how did it go? I was so sad when Bailey started kindergarten. I thought I was ready...but it really snuck up on me. I do love the "newness" of getting ready for a new year...but also have very deep thoughts in May and August at the beginning and end of new seasons for my kids. Love reading your blog.
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