So in the past month, I have had numerous experiences where like at the beginning of motherhood whether or not you breastfed became a choice of "which camp you are in". I have seen this in a lot of different areas of my life lately, especially adoption. I am seeing that we are all so passionate about certain things in our life that we blog about them and almost don't allow people to have a different view. It is a little disconcerting in that, why do we have to take sides? Isn't there truth in lots of things? Isn't it our job to seek out the bits of truth in all things, but not throw the baby out with the bath water? I am sensing a movement in the adoption world that you have to be either all about the attachment theory or all about not spanking or all about putting your baby in a sling or all about not letting your child leave your side or all about the child and not the parents, etc... What all of these decisions do sometimes is try to divide us. I think the "enemy" would LOVE that. I am sure most can see that God is on the move with adoption in this world right now as it seems to be increasing, but with it, it seems people are saying there is "one way to do it" because most agencies are only allowed to give certain advice in order to cover their bases in this world we live in. When you think back to decisions you make as a first time mom such as whether you breastfeed, whether you let the baby cry it out, whether you spank or do time out, whether you can spoil the baby in the first year, etc... all of them make you a HEAD CASE! The bottom line is that children who are parented either way turn out in all ways. We live with the belief that the way our children act is a direct reflection of what we are doing. We are their parents and it is our job to raise them and love them. There are many cases where parents do this and their children end up really struggling in life, but it is not their parents fault. The goal is to introduce to them to a loving Savior, not to make wonderful "products"... he is the one who can meet every need they have in the world and makes and refines the product... we can only walk with Him in the process.
I have decided that you just don't need to pick a camp. It is easier to pick one so you can fit in and it feels better because you "belong" to a certain one, but ultimately, you can't put all of this in a box. Parenting, adoption, and LIFE just can't fall one way or the other in decisions that are not a moral decision.
I
Monday, February 28, 2011
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5 comments:
(new reader here!)
I loved this post. I'm not an adoptive mom (yet!!).. but this is SO TRUE! Why do we have to pick?! It always amazes me how quickly (some) MOMS can turn again MOMS.. aren't we all in this for the same reason? I'm a big fan of doing what works for YOU and you're FAMILY!
Thanks for the reminder! I've been home 10 days and after today's visit with the Int. Ped. finally feel free to just go with my gut without feeling guilty that I'm not doing what was suggested! Our Addison is adjusting well and seems to enjoy meeting new faces!
Amen sister :).
Tell it, girlfriend!
Love this post!! These things need to be said! Can't wait to hang out again soon!! (:
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